Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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