Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
