Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
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I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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