Kiss
Puke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize