If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i barfeds in our rink
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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