I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
