apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.