Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan