And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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