oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
