i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
