If i come over, it means nothing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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