just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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