Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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