I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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