Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
