Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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