my sisters under your porch take her home
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence