also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina