i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.