i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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