I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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