he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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