If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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