Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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