I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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