the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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