I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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