she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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