very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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