id be glad to
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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