Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
