i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
birth control should be required to get into college
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
