I smell stomach acid.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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