dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
