Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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