seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize