What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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