party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
