My girlfriend figured out who you are.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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