we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
