i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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