I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
