My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
