Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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