what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
