he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
