i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
