If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
