I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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