'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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