One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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