She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Reggie can tackle my bush.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
