I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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