Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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