I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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